Guess what: I’m not a mind reader. I have no idea what you’re thinking, and if you don’t tell me, I won’t know what you want.
I’m not talking about relationships, here. I’m talking about life.
Take business: in business, we have contracts, and these contracts outline the commitments of both parties. Okay, fine…
But you can’t have everything drawn out in a contract. There are hundred or thousands of tiny little things that we deal with everyday that don’t merit a contract — and where asking for one would make us seem unreasonable and paranoid.
So if you’re going to be dealing with someone for some reason, be perfectly clear about what you’re expecting from them — and make sure they tell you what they’re expecting out of you. It might be a strange and awkward conversation to have, but pushing your comfort level an laying it all out on the table in advance will save you all kinds bullshit office-type politics down the line.
This is something that happens with couples all the time. One of them expects the other to be sensitive to their needs, preferences, and expectations just because, and then when they get let down, instead of saying something, they bottle it up and get passive aggressive. Then, if their partner calls bullshit on them, they deny that anything is wrong because they think it’s easier to resent their partner for not reading their mind in the first place than it is to simply tell their partner what think and/or want.
Now is that the way you want to go through life? Having everyone of your interactions feel like a dysfunctional relationship?
If not, be perfectly clear with everyone you deal with: “I’ll do this or that, but I expect this or that out of you.” It’s that easy. Plain and simple.
